Thursday night was one of those evenings where it seems that everything is going comically wrong and you have absolutely no choice but to embrace it. Dan went out of town for two days, which was just long enough for insanity to ensue. I returned home exhausted from my holiday shopping only to find a little gift on the rug from one of the dogs, which was my first clue that something had gone wrong. After letting the dogs back in from their walk, foxy denied my treat, which was the next red flag. Then I noticed that her stomach was HUGE. I am talking pregnant-with-ten-puppies-and-due-tomorrow huge.

(This is the aerial view of the pear shaped fox)

I immediately investigated the dog food and discovered that the lid had come off the Sadie’s food container. Ut-oh. Inside I found a large crater where foxy had helped herself to at least 10 cups of food. With-in minutes of this discovery, she threw up about 2 cups of food that looked like it never even made it down, which meant she still had about 8 cups in her belly. After consulting with my dog expert (Jenn Scales), I confirmed that she would survive the event but that it would result in on very upset tummy.

I decided to stay up late watching a movie so I could keep an eye on her, which was a good thing because she needed lots of walks. By the time we got to the second movie, it was already 2am. As I was loading a new movie, I heard something moving around in our utility closet area. Having been silently at war with a small furry home intruder for weeks, I knew that my time had come to spot the suspect. I grabbed both dogs by the collar and slowly led them towards the sound. When I turned the corner, I was face to face with a large rat! He had brazenly come out, thinking that the coast was clear but to his disappointment, I was ready for action. I immediately yelled for the dogs to get him and the chase began! The rat ran so fast it didn’t seem like it even had feet and before we knew it, it had found a temporarily safe haven. I soon realized that this was going to be a hands-on endeavor, so I put on my rain boots (I didn’t want him touching my toes!) and grabbed a broom. Before I knew it I was moving furniture, screaming in a giddy voice for the dogs to “GET IT!!” while pointing to his new escape route, throwing pillows, lifting up couches/beds, and running from room to room like a lunatic (I can only imagine what my upstairs neighbors thought). At one point, the rat panicked at with no other choice but the dog’s mouths, he threw himself onto the top of my boot which resulting in me screaming like a kid on a roller coaster and running for my life. In my panic, I hit foxy in the face with the broom and she immediately hid from me. In the commotion, he made a v-line for the kitchen and to our great disappointment, he disappeared into a hole in the wall behind the oven. I stuffed the hole with tin foil (its all I could find in a pinch) and decided to call it a night.

I put foxy’s collar and leash on and attached her to me so I could get some sleep without worrying about her having an accident. I awoke an hour later to the sound of her whining, so I threw my legs over the bed, took a step and whoooooops, I slipped in her mess, almost went down but thankfully managed to land back on the bed. Ick. So much for not going in the house. I washed myself, her, and the floor. I felt that I had earned another cup of tea, so I walked into the kitchen but when I turned on the light, a kamikaze rat flew threw the air and dove under the table. Cue boxing ring bell.

ROUND 2! My boots went back on, I shook Sadie out of her slumber, coaxed Foxy to trust me with the broom and we were off again. This time the dogs went bananas! Sadie’s jaw was shaking with excitement as I pointed at the Rat’s every move and she dove for him. He tried the chimney, the filing cabinet, laundry piles, and dressers but the dogs were on his tail. I thought for sure we had him but he pulled a Houdini in the closet and was no where to be found (trust me, I took everything out.) My best guess is the slight gap between the flooring, the wall, and the baseboard in the back corner, but I will never know.

By the time we finished it was well after 4 am and I took the dogs out for a last walk. We were all high on rat-chase adrenaline and the air was crisp, so it was a nice outing. When we got home, we piled back into warm cozy bed and all fell asleep immediately. The next morning I awoke to find no more accidents in the house and two very tired dogs. While I went around the house fortifying all of the rat escape/entrance routes with wood, the dogs slept without stirring.

So now foxy is back to her original size, the dogs think I am a golden god for providing them a live chase, and hopefully the rat has given up living with a crazy person with rat obsessed dogs that will stop at nothing to catch him in the middle of the night.

Written by Nikki